


There's Nothing Wrong with Showing Emotion

by Andante_Andante



Category: SKAM (Norway), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Drunken Confessions, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Isak needs someone to talk to, Jonas Noah Vasquez is a Good Friend, M/M, drunk Isak has no filter, free grammarly and lack of sleep only go so far, grammar might be trash whoops, lots of sad but theres some laugh too, noora is a wise old owl, ultimate brotp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18272582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andante_Andante/pseuds/Andante_Andante
Summary: After a night gone wrong leads to Isak telling all his secrets, Jonas is left to pick up the pieces.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For my good friend Isabella (who asked me to write it)
> 
> Prompt: "The boys squad is allowed into Emma's party, and after something happens with Even, a drunk Isak panics and tells Jonas everything."

“Hold this.” 

Jonas didn’t have any time to react before Isak shoved his beer in his hand and pushed his way out through the crowd. He only stared at the door for a second, dumbfounded by the sheer harshness of the action. 

“What was that was about?” He raised his eyes at Mahdi.

“Couldn’t tell ya. He’s been so uptight lately.” True, Isak has been weird lately but running out of a party like that? That wasn’t him. Jonas felt a wave of worry pass through him, and he frowned. “I’m sure he’s fine, dude. He’s Isak, he knows how to handle himself.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. C’mon, I still got some of my stash left.” He let Mahdi drag him over to the corner to get started, but he kept a firm eye on the door. He could be meeting up with someone, Emma probably, but that didn't make much sense. He looked upset more than anything. 

He set Isak’s beer down on the table and took a long sip of his own. It was refreshing in the stuffy room. Promptly, he understood why he could’ve left. It was more than likely that he wanted fresh air, a break from whatever he was doing. With that, Jonas felt himself relax and joined back into the party to watch Magnus strike out with Vilde again. A highly entertaining activity if you asked him. However, soon five minutes became ten and ten minutes became fifteen, and still, no one came through the door. 

“Have you seen Isak?” He yelled over the music. 

“Last I saw he was talking with Emma and that one guy…” Magnus said. “Uh, Even I think he said his name was.”

“Who’s Even?” Magnus shrugged his shoulders, and Jonas looked around once more. 

“I think I’m going to go outside and find him.” 

It was just after ten, and the air was cool, but luckily, not yet cold enough to need a jacket. He walked around the house once, ducking behind trees and fences, but saw nothing. A walk down the alleyway proved the same, but just as he was about to turn around and go back, he heard something fall followed by a string of curse words. Sure enough, he spotted Isak alone on a bench a short walk down the street. He was hunched over with his head in his hands and his hat lying haphazardly on the ground next to him. 

 

As he got closer, he heard a wet sniff and unsettled, shaky breaths. 

 

“Isak?” He called out, watching as the young man jolted upward before looking back toward the ground again. 

“Hey.” 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “You never came back, so I came to check on you.” 

“Oh—uh—thanks, but I‘m fine,” his voice was weak and raspy. 

“Are you sure?” 

“‘m fine.” 

“Isak—.”

“Jonas, please, I-I-I’m okay.” He was about to disagree with him when Isak furiously swiped at his eyes. “Fuck, what’s wrong with me?” He sniffed softly. 

“There’s nothing wrong with showing emotion, Isak,” again, he got no response. Isak never even looked up from the ground. 

“Go back to the party, Jonas.” Jonas only walked closer. He couldn’t go back, not when his best friend was outside crying alone in the dark. “Jonas, please just leave me alone.” He sat down on the bench next to him and got an overwhelming smell of alcohol. There was no way he could have drank that much at the party. Isak was about to get up, but he held his hand down on his chest, ignoring his best friends half-hearted struggle to leave. 

Finally, Isak looked up. In the street light, he could barely make out his red and puffy eyes and the small trail of tears that ran down his face. “P-please.” Suddenly, he inhaled and sobbed. Jonas cringed as he watched his best friend break down. It hurt to know that Isak didn’t want to confide in him but watching him shake with cries was downright painful. 

“Oh, Isak,” he put a hand on his shoulder, but Jonas didn’t think he noticed. Despite being friends with him for so long, he’d only ever seen Isak cry once, way back on a night where his mom was having a particularly bad episode. Then, he was only tearing up, but now, now Isak’s whole body trembled with sobs, and he had absolutely no idea how to deal with it. “Let it out, buddy.” 

He bent over to pick up the hat when he noticed a shattered bottle on the ground. It was Vodka, judging on the way it smelled, and Jonas knew it was going to be a long night. Nobody drank vodka from the bottle for fun, so Isak had to be drinking to forget.

“Tell me what’s going on, Isak,” his own voice was surprisingly cal, despite anxiety so strong he was stuck in his seat. 

“I’m sorry,” Isak sniffed wetly. “I just... I saw them standing there together, and they looked so happy. He must of noticed I was standing there because he came after me—.” An odd expression crossed his face, setting off Jonas’ alarm bells. He could tell Isak was thinking. “Emma saw. Oh my god. She’s going to tell everyone,” he at Jonas to no avail. “It’s official. My life is over. I can’t recover from this, Jonas.”

“Woah, woah, Isak, slow down. What happened? What is she going to tell everyone?” 

“This is so embarrassing. I might as well leave the country at this point.”

“Bro, why damage control mode?”

“Honestly--” Suddenly, Isak stopped, lurched forward into the bushes and threw up, and Jonas didn’t find himself stuck to his seat anymore. He rushed over to Isak’s side and rubbed soothing circles on his back like he did every time he drank too much. 

“Are you okay now?” Jonas asked hesitantly. 

“Yeah, I think I'm done for now,” he confirmed. 

“Fuck that, Isak, there’s other parties." He led him back to the bench and sat down next to him. He was quiet for a moment, waiting for his friend to wipe his mouth off on his sleeve, but it still didn’t seem like Isak wanted to tell him. He gestured to the house. “Do you want to go back?” He shook his head softly.

“I’m a fraud, Jonas. I’ve been lying to you for years, to everyone really.” 

“How so?” Isak ran both hands through his hair and tugged on the ends, and the bad feeling in his stomach got worse. He only ever did that particular tick when he was really stressed. Whatever he was about to tell him, it had to be big.

“Do you remember the time at Eva’s party when you guys left me in the bathroom with Emma?” He rasped out. If he was being honest, he was half drunk and high at that party, and he really only remembered Magnus complaining about the rest of them getting all the girls. Nonetheless, he nodded anyway. 

“Well, she wanted to give me head... but she didn’t, we didn’t, I couldn’t..”   
He paused again, fiddling with his fingers. “I couldn’t get into it, and I think it was because I don’t actually like her. I can’t like her.” Jonas frowned. What was that supposed to mean? If he couldn’t get himself to like her, then he didn’t need to go out with her. It was as simple as that. 

“I don’t understand. You don’t have to be with her. If you don’t want to.” 

“No, no, you don’t get it. It’s not her personality, well, it kind of is her personality. She’s kinda bit--.” 

“Isak, you’re rambling again.” 

“It’s not so much her personality as it is her.” 

“Oh,” wait, does that mean--

“I-I think I’m gay, Jonas.” Huh. Out of all the things in the world, this would have been the last thing he would have guessed, but now that he told him, everything that confused him about Isak made sense. Observations from over the years promptly flooded his mind. His relationships never really lasted long. He almost never showed interest when it came to the hot girls, and when he did, in retrospect, it was clearly half-hearted. And just this recently, he’s been saying hurtful, almost homophobic things about stuff that never once bothered him before. Jonas was so lost in analyzing his actions that he forgot to respond. “Please, say something.”

 

“I…” He started, but he didn’t know what to say. However, he could see Isak fold in on himself once more, and he knew he had to say something. “Cool.” 

“Cool?!” Jonas couldn’t tell if he was relieved or frustrated with the answer.

“You looked like you were about to throw up again, so I had to say something.”

“Still, I drop a bombshell, and you respond with ‘cool.’ What the fuck, Jonas.” Isak responded incredulously, and Jonas cracked a smile. That was the most Isak he’s seen Isak in days. 

“What did you want me to say?”

“Honestly, I’m not even sure at this point. I don’t exactly do this on a regular basis.”

“Am I the only one who knows?” 

Isak bristled. “You’re not that special.”

“First of all ouch,” he smiled when his friend laughed. “In all seriousness, though, am I?”

“I told Eskild, and I think Noora has her suspicions, but besides from them--oh, and uh Even--you’re the only one who knows.” Even? The guy that Magnus mentioned? He was about to ask him when he thought back to what Isak said earlier.

“And that guy, Even, are you guys involved?” He guessed.

“We kinda had a thing.” 

“A thing?”

“Please don’t make me spell it out more. It’s already embarrassing.”

“Too late, now you have to tell me.”

“We hooked up.” He blurted. “Several times.” Jonas raises his eyebrows at that, but from the looks of it, Isak was equally surprised at the confession. 

“But?” 

“He has a girlfriend, Sonja, and they’ve been dating for four years. And he told me that he broke up with her, and then he said we were moving too fast, so he distanced himself, and then we got to tonight,” he blew air out of his mouth. “When I saw him with her.” 

“That’s kind of a dick move.” The blond hummed in agreement, and he got the impression that there was more to the Even story. “You don’t have to talk about it tonight, Isak. You know, if it’s too much or uncomfortable or someth--” 

“No, no, I’ll never bring it up again. Plus, I already cried on you and vomited twice, I don’t think I have the right to feel uncomfortable anymore.” He interrupted. 

It took another minute for him to open up, but it was still early. He could take as long as he needed. Isak picked at his fingers again. “I think I totally fell for him.”

“In love?” 

“Something of that sort, I guess. I used to think all that cheesy love stuff was only in the movies and that I’d only find someone who marginally connected with me, but then I met him. And being with him was different. I didn’t have to lie to him about who I was.” 

With that said, Jonas felt guilty. “I’m so sorry you felt like you had to lie, Isak. I truly am.” 

“It’s not anything you did, Jonas. I lied to everyone, including myself. I put that part of me in a box and locked it, and for a while, I forgot it existed. I thought maybe I just don’t care about that stuff, but then Even showed up in my life with a key and opened that part again.” He paused for a second as if trying to word what he was about to say. 

“And at this point, Emma was here. Like I said earlier, she tried to go down on me, but I just wasn’t into it. I think I hurt her feelings by denying her, but it just wasn’t going where she thought that was going. When Even was with me, it was just the complete opposite. It was just like all the feelings I’ve never felt were saved just for him, and it was kinda great.”

“So, what exactly happened tonight?” Jonas asked softly. Isak already explained that earlier, but he wasn’t exactly making sense then. 

“Emma pulled me out to dance, and we did. I was actually having like an okay time when I spotted Even.”

“He was with Sonja?”

“Correct.” He took another deep, shaky breath, and for a moment, Jonas thought he might start crying again. “They looked very happy, all loved up in the corner, so I turned back to Emma because...I don’t know. However, I could feel him looking at me, watching me and Emma, and when I turned around we just kind of stared at each other.” 

“Is this a sexual stare, or…?”

Isak snorted. “No, it wasn’t like that tonight.” 

“Tonight?!”

“I’m not drunk enough to have that conversation yet.” Jonas mentally made a note of that for later. That was definitely something he wanted to hear about that. “Honestly, I’m not even sure what it was for in the first place. I went back to dancing, but I could still feel him looking at me. It was kind of getting to be too much, so I left to get a beer in the kitchen. Which reminds me, did you bring it out?” 

“No, it’s sitting on a table somewhere.” 

“Wow, so specific.” Jonas rolled his eyes in response.

“Oh shut up, Isak. Who the fuck leaves an unopened beer? Finish your story.” 

“Fine. Well, I bent down to grab the beer, and when I came up Even was right there, and he kissed me. That was when he kind of led us into the bathroom to very hardcore make out. Fuck, Jonas, you have no idea how much I missed making out with Even.” Isak looked surprised when that last part came out, and Jonas was certain that he would have left that detail out if he’d done this sober. “Remember earlier when I said I couldn’t go through with doing that with Emma?” 

“Yes. You’ve mentioned it a few times.” Isak glared at him.

“Well, that hardcore making out with Even kind of turned out to be me pressed up against the wall with him, well, you know on his knees.” 

“Isak Valtersen, you shady, shady man.” He laughed as his best friends face became red like a tomato. 

“But, neither of us must’ve locked the door because Emma walked in.” All laughter died on Jonas’ face when he heard that. “And it’s not like we could deny it or anything, not with his head on the most compromising part of my body. She just slammed the door on us, and just like that, mood broken. I got dressed really quickly, and then I fuckin’ ran. I saw you and Mahdi on the way out, so I gave you my beer in case I decided never to come back.” 

“Where did you get the vodka?” 

“It was sitting on the steps outside, so I grabbed it. I thought getting shitfaced would be a good idea.” 

“I think you’ll be dead tomorrow.” 

“Probably, at least then I’ll have an excuse not to show my face in public.” 

“Do you really think she’ll tell everyone?” 

“She probably already has,” he frowned. “I mean, I did kind of use her to keep my big ass gay secret.” 

“That’s still no reason to out someone.” 

“With my luck, it is.” Jonas squeezed his shoulder. He was about to say something else, but he heard the door to the house open. 

“Isak?” Someone called. Isak’s eyes widened in shock.

“Is that Even?” He whispered quietly, taken aback by how tense his best friend became. 

“Yes.” He said shortly. 

“Need me to do something?” 

“Let’s leave. I can’t deal with him right now.” Isak got up from the bench, a little wobbly, but he stabilized himself. 

“Okay, c’mon I know a shortcut.”


	2. A Grumpy Isak is better than a Sad Isak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonas takes Isak home, and he puts him to bed. Jonas and Noora talk about Isak's situation.

To say anything, Jonas still wasn’t entirely sure how they got here. His night had played out significantly different than how he had imagined it would go. Originally, he’d planned on hanging with the boys, smoking a little weed, maybe even hooking up with a girl, and eventually, he would drag himself home absolutely shitfaced. He had a process, and It was supposed to be just like any other party of the year. The most drama he had expected to come out of that party was from Magnus and whether or not he finally hooked up with Vilde. 

However, much, much more came out of this party than he had anticipated, and while he was definitely happy that Isak finally confided in him, he was not prepared. 

He was much more sober than he had been two hours ago, but he was still overall shook. He expected Isak to hook up with Emma, and he was well aware that Isak would ditch them for her. Technically, he was right about him leaving, but man, was he so wrong about everything else. He never in a million years would have guessed that he was hooking up with a dude, let alone be in love with one. He hardly knew him, yet his best friend was in love. How long had they known each other? How did things fall apart so quickly? 

Isak had fallen asleep ages ago, but he didn’t have the heart to wake him. The bags under his eyes weren’t too noticeable, but they were definitely worse than usual. He should’ve noticed, it was his job to notice, yet he didn’t, and he felt awful about it. He knew he was hiding something, that he was stressing, but he kept quiet in hopes that Isak would come to him. In retrospect, Jonas wished he would have confronted Isak sooner. He couldn’t deal with the fact that his best friend was struggling and didn’t feel comfortable to tell him. Isak had seen Jonas at his lowest, weakest points, but he was always there to help. It made him sad that he wasn’t comfortable enough to tell him until it was too late, until he hit rock bottom. 

Coming home from the party had been rough. Isak was still drunk and emotionally unstable, and definitely not in the best shape to walk by himself. Jonas stayed close behind him, waiting to catch him if he stumbled. He had sent a quick text to Magnus telling him that Isak was absolutely wasted, and he was going to take him home. Luckily, Emma’s house wasn’t too far from Isak’s apartment. 

When they got inside, Jonas sent Isak to the bathroom to clean himself up while he raided his bedroom for some clothes. It was kind of a mess with an unmade bed and rumpled clothes thrown all over the place, but he didn’t mind too much. Eventually, he found an old pair of sweats and a hoodie that seemed okay. Isak didn’t complain when he handed them to him. 

It was only ten minutes later that he was back in the bathroom groaning over the toilet with Jonas looming in the doorway. Then, after he calmed down again, he led him over to the couch and turned on some shit channel. They didn’t talk much after that, and it was strictly limited to Jonas coaxing Isak into drinking a glass of water, trying to alleviate tomorrow morning’s hangover as much as possible. Unfortunately, it made his stomach churn to the point that Jonas left him to get a bin, just in case it made him sick again. 

Following the last of the vomit scares, Isak had fallen asleep. He curled up under the linens that Jonas stole from his bed and had his face awkwardly smushed in the crack of the couch. However, that was nearly an hour ago, and since then, Isak had moved closer and closer to him until he was what Isak was awkwardly smushed against. He didn’t mind, or at least not really. He drooled on him a little, which was kind of gross, but he could deal with it. Besides, it could be good blackmail for a later date. 

Isak made a small, disgruntled noise and shifted in his sleep, breaking Jonas’ train of thought. For a moment, he was worried he was going to be sick again, but he only stretched his gangly leg out so it flopped off the side of the couch. Effortlessly graceful, that one was. 

He heard a door open down the hall, and a girl shuffled out. He knew Noora was at the party, and Isak mentioned something about Eskild having a date tonight, but he had no idea about his other roommate. Linn gave him a strange look, eyes flashing between him and Isak, before Jonas returned the stare. She looked away quickly, so hopefully, she got the hint to drop it. A minute later, she left with a cup of noodles and a downward gaze. 

Whatever show that had been playing was now an infomercial on some kind of American mop, which he definitely wasn’t here for. He was just about to reach for the remote when his phone buzzed softly. 

Magnus (00:24): Is Isak okay?

Jonas (00:24): He will be.

Magnus (00:24): Ouch. Vilde said he was like screaming outside…

Magnus (00:25): is that true? 

Magnus (00:26): JONAS. 

Magnus (00:26): seriously is Isak ok?

Magnus wouldn’t say anything if Jonas told him what happened. He would keep it quiet, but Jonas still didn’t want to tell him. 

Jonas (00:27): he’s just been having a rough time recently

Magnus (00:27): Fuck that bad, huh?

Magnus (00:27): is it his parents? He never talks about them 

Huh. Jonas wasn’t going to lie in saying that that had observation surprised him. Isak’s home life wasn’t necessarily a secret, but it also wasn’t well known by any means. He’d have to ask Magnus about that later, but nonetheless, it wasn’t his parents that were troubling him this time... 

Jonas (00:27): its not his parents and it’s not bad 

Jonas (00:27): I don’t think he’s sees it like I do tho

Magnus (00:27): anything I can do?

Jonas (00:28): just be supportive 

Jonas (00:28): how is the party 

Magnus (00:28): it got broken up. Mahdi and I just left. Want us to come over?

Jonas (00:29): nah he’s asleep 

Magnus (00:29): ok

Shit. Vilde knew? That definitely wasn’t good. They were the only ones outside. Isak was pretty loud at one point, he could have brought on the attention, but they would have heard if someone came closer. If Vilde knew about that, did she know about the other thing? He unlocked his phone again.

Jonas (00:30): wait Magnus 

Magnus (00:30): Yes? 

Jonas (00:30): what else did Vilde say? Did she say who told her? 

Magnus (00:31): we were talking and I was just about to make my move when she got a fucking phone call and went outside 

Magnus (00:31): she told me when she came back in

Magnus (00:32): fucking mood killer 

Jonas rolled his eyes, but at least he knew it only came from Vilde. He could deal with Vilde. He knew her and her friends, and while he knew that she told her friends everything, it was better only they know instead of the school. Truly, it was Emma that he was concerned about. He had only ever talked to her once, and she seemed nice enough, but that still didn’t change the fact that she was an absolute wildcard. Isak’s only hope was that she was nice enough to keep the whole thing under wraps. It was a dick move on Isak’s part to date her when he knew he was gay, and it was even more of a dick move to cheat on her at her own party, but that didn’t give her the right to out him. Only Isak should have the power to do that, and if she tried to take that away, Jonas would do everything in his power to stop her. 

He had been best friends with Isak since they were kids, and Jonas had been by his side through all the shitty stuff he went through with his parents. He knew how hard it was to go through because he practically lived through it himself. He heard the things his dad said and seen the things his mom did all the while watching Isak try and deal with it. He thought he had been through the dark, that things were better now, but he didn’t know that that had only scratched the surface of Isak’s pain. His parents by themselves were enough to deal with, so he couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was like to also keep this a secret. 

He heard another door open, and Noora gave a long look to them as she walked in. He supposed that was valid as it wasn’t really a regular occurrence to see her best friend’s ex-boyfriend lying on her couch with her roommate passed out across his lap. 

“Long night?” She guessed, a smirk forming on her painted lips.

“You could say that.”

Jonas bit his lip as he watched her walk around the corner to Eskild’s room. He could hear Isak’s confession still echoing in his mind, and he couldn’t help but wonder if Isak’s hunch was right. From what he knew, Noora was smart and perceptive, and most importantly, she shared a living space with him. It wasn’t all that unlikely that she figured it out. Still, he would have to ask her, and on the off chance that she didn’t really know--well, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk that. 

She came back out a few minutes later clad in sleepwear and a now bare face and made her trek to the kitchen. She didn’t pay them any mind this time, but it didn’t seem like she was avoiding them as Linn had. It felt more like she simply knew it wasn’t her place to interfere. 

“Wait, uh Noora?” 

“Yes?” 

“Tonight Isak told me something,” he started. “Something that’s been troubling him for a while, apparently, and he said that he thought you knew.” It was vague, sure, but it was enough information for her to figure out what he was trying to say. She glanced down at the sleeping boy and frowned. 

“Any chance you can get up?” 

“Probably. Once he falls asleep he tends to sleep like the dead.”

“That’s true,” she laughed. “Do you want to just put him to bed?” 

“I don’t think I should lift him by myself, so could you--uh--maybe grab his feet?” Isak groaned with the movement, and suddenly, Jonas was back on vomit duty with one hand supporting his friend’s body and other grasping the bowl. 

“Is he okay?” She asked after a minute. 

“Yeah,” he put down the bowl and hoisted him upright. “Just keep him level, I guess.”

“Like this?” 

“Perfect.” 

“Fuck why am I moving?” Isak slurred, still half asleep. Jonas shushed him in response and they laid him down on the bed. “I could’ve just walked you know…” 

“Isak, you good?” Noora asked. Isak winced when she said that. 

“Christ, not so loud.” He groaned causing Noora to scoff in response. “Turn the light off would ya?”

“Sleep it off, Is,” Jonas said as he shut the door. He’s pretty sure he heard Isak mumble ‘fuck off’ into his pillow, but he didn’t care. A hungover and grumpy Isak was already way better than a sad Isak. 

Noora led them both to the kitchen and put on a pot of hot water. Jonas sat down at the table and fiddled with his fingers for something to do in the silence, much like Isak had done earlier. 

“You never answered my question.” He said. 

“I was worried he would wake up and hear what I had to say.” She said softly. “I knew he had been struggling with it, and I don’t think he would’ve handled it well if he found out I already knew he was gay.” 

“So you did know then…”

“Yeah, I’ve known for a while now.”

“How long?” 

“About a year, I’d say, maybe a little less.” 

“Fuck, a year? You knew about this for a year, and you didn’t tell me?” If he knew about this earlier, maybe he could’ve helped Isak. He could have helped him accept who he was, and overall, they could have avoided the pain of last night all together. 

“Jonas, you and I both know that it wasn’t my secret to tell.” She chided. He knew she was right--that ultimately it was up to Isak--but it still fucking stung. 

“How did you figure it out?”  
Noora stared at him for a moment as if trying to figure out what to say, and he got a bad feeling in his stomach. What if Isak had a night like this before? He hated to think that tonight wasn’t an outlier, or that there was the possibility of him going through it alone. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to go through that by himself. 

“It was at the tree lighting party, right after you and Eva broke up. I was looking for Vilde, and my phone was dead, so Isak let me borrow his to call her. He didn’t have her number saved, so I went to search it.” She paused for a second as shaky hands brought two mugs of tea over to the table. “Well, like all of us I’m sure, he had a lot of tabs open, and maybe like the first five I saw, they were…porn.”

“Porn?” 

“Gay porn. Lots of it.” 

“Damn, are you sure?”

“Would you like me to go into detail?” Jonas cringed. No, he didn’t need to see that. “That’s what I thought.” 

They slipped into a comfortable silence filled only by the occasional sip of tea and the odd creak of the apartment. Jonas was lost in his thoughts, still trying to comprehend everything that went down. Why did he keep it from him so long? Part of him was angry that he kept him in the dark for so long, but another sympathized with him. 

“Why do you think he kept it so long? I offered time and time again to help but he never…” He trailed off. “He always brushed it off.”

“I don’t him as well as you do, and I know I’ve only been back a month or so, but we’ve bonded a little. It comes from the night because I can’t sleep, and as I’m sure you noticed, he can’t sleep either, so sometimes, we ended up together. We had an understanding that we both just needed someone there.” 

“But I offered to be there time and time again, and he brushed me off.” 

“Look, he usually tells you when things are rough, right?”

“He tends to bottle things up inside, but usually, he will tell me.”

“So there has to be a reason he didn’t tell you, right?” 

“...right.” 

“Jonas, I don’t think I’m qualified to answer your questions. Eskild--he’s practically my brother, and he’s given me a lot of insight into things like this. He’s really the one to ask, not me.”

“Noora,” he spoke quietly. “Please, just help me understand.”

“I don’t know what it was like for Isak to go through…”

“It’s only Isak that knows, really, but I’m in uncharted territory. I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”

“Fine.” She sat back down. “I’ll just say this. From an outside, objective perspective he was probably afraid of what everyone would say, or how they would react. I don’t think he wanted to be different.”

“Was someone hurting him or something? I swear I’ll kill them.”

“No, I don’t know about that, but he was probably scared of things changing,” She frowned. “That he didn’t want to be part of the stigma.” 

“But I would never treat him any different. I’m not homophobic.”

“Not a lot of people are homophonic, per se, but many are insensitive, I guess.” Jonas pondered what she meant for a second before he felt guilt rising in him. He cursed as he remembered moments throughout the years. Previously happy scenes played in his mind in a newly shameful light. He never thought how damaging it could be to hear words like that used as such a slur. He couldn’t believe he let Elias say all that shit to him. He couldn’t imagine what went through his mind as heard that. 

“Shit.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I never realized. Do you really think that’s what happened?”

“It’s just my speculation, Jonas, if you really want to know, you need to ask him. As you said, he is the only one who truly knows.”

“I asked for your thoughts.”

“No, Isak is a pretty rational person, so I don’t think that is the only reason, but it still could be part of it.”

He hummed in response, guilt adding to a rapidly growing headache. He could feel his hangover begin to kick in, and this was definitely not the best medicine. His best friend needed him more, though, and he'd be damned to abandon him again. 

Noora must’ve read his mind because she motioned to the door and spoke. “It’s probably best if you go home, Jonas. I probably won’t be going to sleep for hours, so I can watch over him.”

“Are you sure?” She didn’t know him as well as he did. “I don’t know how comfortable he would be.”

“True, but something tells me that he won’t be waking up until the mid-afternoon.” She smiled. It reassured him a little. 

“Fine, but I’ll be here in the morning just in case he doesn’t.”

“I expect nothing less. I’ll check on him later.”

“Could you make sure he has water? And maybe put an Advil or something out?”

“Of course.”

“And Noora?” She looked up at him. Her blues eyes warm in sympathy.

“Thank you.”

He felt bad leaving Isak, but Noora was right, Isak wouldn’t have wanted Jonas to give up sleep for him. And besides, Jonas would be there in the morning, or afternoon, depending on when Isak actually pulled himself out of bed, and hopefully, he’d be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! That first chapter was my first fanfic on this site, and I thank all of you who left comments and kudos!! Because of you awesome supporters, I was inspired to write another chapter last night. I didn't really plan on making this a multi-chapter thing, so sorry if there are weird transitions. It also might be equally as grammatically incorrect as I wrote this because I couldn't sleep. Dumb pollen making me congested :( Anyway, let me know what you think!
> 
> Love you all!


	3. That's What Bros are for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The following morning occurs. Isak's in denial, Jonas isn't here for it, and they talk stuff out.

Like the previous night, it was surprisingly warm the following morning, and Jonas was able to leave the house in a jacket rather than his heavy coat. The clouds left with the night to reveal a golden sun, and he appreciated it more than anything. It shrunk his worry a little and gave him an automatic good start to the day. 

It was just after noon when he left his house, so hopefully, Isak would be awake. Jonas had sent a text earlier, but he got no response, and while he was pretty sure that Isak was still asleep, it was also possible that Isak was ignoring him as a half-assed way to run and hide from his problems. However, he knew from experience that that particular solution never really ended well, last night being a prime example, and he wouldn’t allow his friend to fall back into that isolation if he could do anything about it. It was that reason that he was here, trudging up the stairs to his best friends apartment, and knocking on the door. 

“Oh, Jonas! What brings you here on this fine Saturday morning?” Eskild smiled widely at the brunette before having him inside. 

“I wanted to make sure Isak was okay after I left him here last night.” He responded. 

“Wild night, huh?” 

“You could say that,” he mumbled as he took his shoes off. He lifted his head just quick enough to see Noora walk out of the kitchen. 

“Hey, Jonas. I didn’t expect you to be here so soon.” 

“I wasn’t really sure when to come over.” 

“Well, he’s not awake yet, but if you want to stay, I made pancakes.” 

“Yeah, sure,” He beamed at her unusually cheerful enthusiasm. “Was he okay last night?” 

“I didn’t hear a peep from him.” 

“Really?” 

“Slept the whole night through,” she confirmed as they made their way to the table. Even if Isak slept like the dead, he thought for sure he would’ve stumbled to the bathroom at some point. He wasn’t a particularly stealthy person.

“And he’s not awake now?” He questioned again. 

“If he is, he hasn’t peeled himself out of that stinky pile of linens he calls a bed.” Eskild chimed in from the corner. 

“Could I go and check?” 

“I don’t have a problem with it, although I don’t think he’s too fond of being woken up,” Eskild warned. He had a point, but he’d be careful. 

Jonas opened the door quietly, cursing softly as it creaked. Like on the couch, he has sprawled out awkwardly. Isak was lying spread eagle on his stomach with his mouth open. His blankets were mostly on the floor after likely being kicked off in the night, and he had drool all over his face and pillow. 

“Lovely,” Noora whispered from behind him. He didn’t even hear her come up.

“He’s quite the handsome guy.” She laughed quietly at that. 

Most of the water was empty, and the wrappings of a couple of Advil were open right next to it, so Isak must’ve been up at some point to take them. He was just about to take the trash and leave when Isak’s phone lit up from where it was plugged in. Noora looked at him and shrugged. 

“I didn’t plug his phone in.”

They made their way back to the kitchen, and Noora dished him a few pancakes, to which he greatly thankful for. This particular hangover wasn’t too terrible, but it made him hungrier than usual. Eskild sat at the chair across from him, and he was watching him carefully. 

“It’s nice that you’re checking up on Isak. You’re a good friend.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Though, I can’t help but be suspicious over the fact that you’ve never done this before?” The older boy finished it off with a question, one that Jonas definitely didn’t want to answer. 

“He just seemed upset last night. That’s all.” 

“It is because of a certain boy-toy that seems to have captured our little kitten’s heart?” Jonas gaped at him for a second, wondering how he already guessed Isak’s big secret, but then he remembered what his friend said to him last night. Eskild already knew. 

“That may have been part of the reason.” He conceded. 

“I’m so glad he told you.” Eskild smiled. “Poor boy’s so far in the closet he’s starting to combine with the wood.”

From what Isak told him, there was a certain aspect of truth to that statement, and Jonas didn’t like that one bit. Isak wasn’t really one to hook up at a party, but there were instances that he did. It didn’t seem like a lot, but considering he wasn’t into girls, he supposed that it was a lot of keep up.

“I still can’t believe he never told me,” Jonas confided.

“People do crazy things because of fear.” Jonas nodded before taking another bite of pancake. “But besides that, I need you to tell me everything about this Even.” 

“I know he has a girlfriend.” 

“Oh, baby gay.” He frowned. 

“I don’t really know anything. I’ve never even met him.” He wasn’t about to tell him about their little rendezvous from last night. Isak would probably kill him if he did. 

“He’s gorgeous, and it’s unfair. It’s his first time being gay, and he already hit the jackpot.” 

”Who hit the jackpot?” All three heads turned quickly to the voice in the doorway of the kitchen. 

“Me, Magnus accidentally sent me a dick pic.” He blurted. Isak’s face scrunched in disgust. 

“Why is that the jackpot?”

“It’s not. Eskild was being sarcastic.” 

“That’s so fucked up, though.” They all watched him as he poured himself a cup of coffee, but he didn’t notice the extra attention. “Why are you here so early?” 

“It’s noon.” 

“Exactly my point.” He grumbled back. He knew Isak wasn’t a morning person, but he’d think he’d at least be awake now. 

“I came by to see you, and to make sure you didn’t choke on vomit in your sleep.” 

“What the hell did I do last night. I just remember screaming at something.” Jonas was taken back by that. Did Isak not remember? That wasn’t good. 

“Well, it’s kind of a long story, but—.” Thankfully, Eskild came to his rescue. 

“Damn, baby Jesus, you reek!” 

“Not so loud would you?” Isak winced at Eskild’s voice. 

“I’ll be quiet if you go shower.” 

“Fine, fine, I’m going.” Isak gave an incredulous look to Jonas before Eskild shoved him down the hall. They waited for the door to close before resuming their conversation. 

“Magnus? Really?” Noora deadpanned. 

“What? It worked, didn’t it?” 

“Whatever.” 

They sat in friendly conversation after that, bonding over how disgusting Magnus and Vilde were. Apparently, Vilde also had some interesting thoughts on Magnus, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. On one hand, he was happy his friend’s feelings were reciprocated, but on the other, they were already the PDA couple, even if they weren’t together. 

Sure enough, a few minutes after one door opened and another door closed, Jonas heard his named called. 

“Shut the door,” Isak commanded. His eyes were wide and inquisitive, and he looked shaken. Although, he didn’t speak for a minute. 

“What exactly did I tell you last night?” He asked quietly. Once again, Jonas is at a loss of words. 

“I thought you didn’t remember?” 

“Something jogged my memory.” He raised his thick eyebrows at him, and Isak glared in response before pulling down his shirt to reveal a dark purple bruise on the side of his collarbone. 

“What’s that supposed to tell me?” 

“Cut that bullshit, Jonas. Tell me what I told you last night.” He could practically feel Isak’s heart beating faster, but he still couldn’t make any sound. On one hand, he wanted to scream out to him that it was okay to be gay, but on the other, he thought that maybe the lighter the approach the better. 

“I..” He started. 

“Wait, no. Don’t answer that.” He didn’t think he wanted to hear the answer. “I need you to forget everything about last night.” 

Jonas tried to argue. He couldn’t let his best friend fall back in his cycle of fear and hate, but Isak interrupted him. 

“Look, I was drunk off my mind, so don’t listen to it. It’s not true.” 

It was painfully obvious that it was true, and they both knew it. Isak was skating around the topic without actually addressing it, and Jonas wasn’t here for it. 

“What’s not true?” 

The next minute or so was strange. Isak stood up from his place on the bed, walked over to his desk, pulled on a grey hoodie, and collapsed back on the bed again. Only this time he faced the other way. It didn’t escape Jonas that he never answered his question. 

“Isak, I’m not going t—.”

“I said forget it. Now, I’m going to go back to bed. Shut the door on your way out.” Jonas watched with a frown as Isak pulled the blankets over his body and curled up into a ball. 

“I know that’s not true, and that’s okay Isak. Seriously.” 

“It is true!” 

“Isak,” He said a little more sternly. 

“It is.” For a second, Jonas considered leaving him there. Maybe he wasn’t ready to come out, and maybe that was true, but Isak already came out. He told Jonas everything, and he warned him that he would never bring the topic up again. Drunk Isak did the hard part, and now, it was time for Jonas to do his. 

He yanked the covers off of his best friend. Isak looked at him in shock before he got pulled off the bed too. 

“C’mon, we’re going for a walk.” 

“What? No.” 

“You need to air out, and it’s nice out.” 

“I’m not going for a fucking walk, dude.” 

“Well, your opinions are bullshit. Go get your shoes.” Jonas shoved him towards the door. 

“Alright, alright. Jesus, I’m going! Why is everybody forcing me to do stuff this morning?”

He couldn’t let Isak go on hating himself like this, and he’d be damned if he did. He had a stake in this boy, and he couldn’t risk losing him. He let them stay quiet on the walk for a few minutes, gathering his thoughts together before Isak spoke. 

“Jonas, Seriously, I—“ 

“No,” he interrupted. “I need you to hear this first.” 

“Last night, I saw you more broken then I’ve seen you in a while, and as much as you may hate it, drunk you told me everything, so please don’t deny it. I know about Even, and what happened with Emma last night, and I know that you were incredibly scared to tell me.” 

Finally, he remained quiet. His eyes were glued to the road ahead. 

“And here we are this morning, and even though I already know these things, you’re equally as scared. I may not be the most observant person, but dude, I can practically see your heart racing. I’m not going to leave you, Isak, and especially not for being gay. That doesn’t make you any different. I swear to that. You’re my best friend, and you’re a bonehead for thinking that I wouldn’t support you.” 

“A bonehead, huh?” 

“The boniest.” He said with a small smile, but he still wasn’t done. “I’m also here to apologize.”

“Apologize? For what?” 

“For everything I’ve ever said and done that made you think being gay would make you different. And for keeping Elias around.”

“Yeah, he’s an asshole.” 

“I should’ve realized how terrible he was, so I’m sorry about that too.” 

“All is forgiven. Besides, I think you proved yourself a good enough friend last night when you listened to me rant and cry and puke.” 

“That’s what bros are for.” 

“Thanks, though, seriously.” 

“Alrighty, now that the deep shit is out of the way, can I ask questions about that whole situation?” Jonas asked. Isak nodded in return, but they fell into silence after that, breathing in the cool autumn air as they walked through quiet streets. Isak looked deep in thought. He was still staring ahead of him, but he didn’t look as worried anymore. That was all Jonas could have hoped for. 

He had so many questions about Even, and Isak’s sexuality, but he still didn’t know how comfortable his friend was at talking about it. He wasn’t sure if subtly was the best route. 

“You know, we’re going to need to change the bro code now,” Jonas said.

“The fuck?” 

“Like it can’t be bros before hos now, right?” Subtle. Isak looked thoughtful for a second. 

“You’re right,” Isak said. “But bros before bros is just eh.” 

“True. So no girls at all?” Isak shook his head. “Not even those hot dancer girls?”

“I was bored out of mind while you guys practically had raging hard-ons.”

“We didn’t have raging hard-ons!”

“You were practically drooling. I should have gotten a picture.”

“I should’ve gotten a picture when Even walked up. That was him, right?” He fired back.

“Oh yes. That was him.” 

“You look like you saw a ghost. It was funny,” Jonas mocked, causing Isak to playfully slap at his arm.

“I know you’re like in love with this Even, which by the way, more questions will come of that later, but who have you liked before?” 

“Like, liked-liked? I’m not going to answer that.” 

“Oh, come on, Isak! All the crushes you’ve told me about over the years were fake! Don’t leave me hanging.”

“Most of them weren’t fake, they were just confused. But yes I have had other crushes, and I’d rather die than tell you,” It had to be someone embarrassing then. Julian Dahl? A teacher? A penetrator? One of the guys maybe? He’d have to ask later. 

“Fine,” He conceded. “How long have you known?” 

“I’d say a few years now, but I was definitely confused and in denial.” Naturally.

“How did you meet Even?” 

“At Kosegruppa.” 

“Tell me about him.” 

“Do I have to?” 

“Last night you said you were in love with him, so I need to know all the details.” 

“He’s really hot for one thing.” He started. It didn't escape Jonas how he didn’t deny the first statement. “Blond hair, blue eyes, ridiculously tall.” 

“I always thought tall and blonde was your type.” 

“You also thought girls were my type.” 

“Whatever. He’s handsome, though.” 

“The fuck?” 

“From an objective viewpoint!” He yelled loudly, attracting weird looks from people around them. He didn’t mind. It had them both laughing again, anyway. 

They talked all the way back to the apartment about how to diffuse the time bomb that was the Emma situation. There was no doubt that Isak got himself into a mess, and it would be hard to get him out unscathed, but luckily, Noora was nice enough to give them pointers on the best way to apologize to a girl. Lord knows he’d need them. 

Two hours and six pancakes later, they had a plan. A plan for apologizing to Emma, and a plan to come out to the boys. And finally, a plan for Even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I post like once every 1000 years. I had my exams, and a speech, and my driver's test to worry about. This fic should start to get a little more fluffy and a little less angsty after this chapter, so yay! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone that has been commenting and leaving kudos! You have no idea what it means to me <3

**Author's Note:**

> So that was eh but I hope you enjoyed it
> 
> Tell me your shit in the comments :)


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